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Everyone deserves to let their hair down and have some fun, even those who rarely have a chance for it (like the cool Finnish PM Sanna Marin, who made headlines recently).
But when you’re a woman, things suddenly go from pure fun to somewhat challenging, if not potentially dangerous.
Becoming a victim of a crime, assault or accident while out there partying is something all women are familiar with in one way or another. From a very early age, we learn to be cautious of our surroundings, especially when we feel the most relaxed.
So this time, we take a look at this viral thread from Ask Reddit where people share important safety tips to keep young women safe while out partying. From keeping your friends close to guarding your drinks, below are the most crucial things for us to remember.
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#1
F**k politeness, make a scene. You're more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone you know than by a stranger. If they get too handsy and don't respect when you say no, very loudly make a scene to get others' attention
Agnes Jekyll 2 years ago
Predators count on putting people in situations where they can't make a scene--do.
One of the biggest threats for women out partying is drink spiking. The term refers to when a person deliberately adds alcohol or another drug to someone else’s drink, without their knowledge. Although drink spiking can have debilitating effects on a victim, the topic still doesn’t get the attention it deserves.
So Bored Panda reached out to Dr Erin Lalor, the Chief Executive Officer of The Alcohol and Drug Foundation, to find out more about drink spiking, how to prevent it and crucial things to know about helping a person who has been spiked.
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#2
Look out for each other. If you go with friends, everyone shows up together and leaves together. No one gets left behind.
#3
Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, then something's probably wrong.
Look, worst case scenario is you leave early over nothing and miss a few hours of drinking. That's fine. You'll have *years* of more parties to catch.
**Trust your gut**.
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
This: you'll have plenty of parties in your life. Two weeks ago around 3am i was feeling sleepy and kindda tipsy, all my friends were having fun, but decided that sleepy + drunk = no celphone and /or wallet the next day, so said my goobyes, called a taxi and went home. Next weekend slept better and had a good time that night.
#4
If a random person that you don’t know offers you a drink, tell them to take a drink from it first. It’s saved my sister a few times now.
Jerry Mathers 2 years ago
Just don't take a drink from someone you don't know. Watching them take a sip won't do anything unless there is so much sedative in it that it could kill you. Watching them prepare the drink doesn't guarantee it isn't spiked (sleight of hand). Even if it's your drink, a roofie can be dropped in any moment you are distracted. Guard your drink. If you're a guy that is interested in a girl, help reassure her by getting a waiter or bartender to hold her drink when she has to use the bathroom. If you're at a party, just get her a new one, if hers is left unattended. And by god, don't act offended if she doesn't trust you. It's not you. It's a world that has enough POSs that make it unsafe for all girls. It sucks but it is completely understandable. Finally, if you know someone that spikes drinks, break their arms. Or rat em out. The world is tough enough without trash like that adding to the misery.
Dr Lalor explained that drink spiking may occur for a variety of reasons, including pranks, or to facilitate theft or assaults (including sexual assaults). She explained that ”Nobody should ever feel like it’s their responsibility to prevent their drink being spiked” and added that “it’s never a person’s fault if their drink is spiked.”
#5
Former frat guy who’s hosted a ton of parties.
Keep your drink in your hand, if you set it down and take your eyes off of it, go get a new drink, no one will care.
Know your limits. You’re young and still new to drinking, it’s up to you to learn the difference between 3 drinks and 8 drinks.
Go with a group of friends, safety in numbers.
If someone’s creeping you out at a house party tell someone who lives there, we will kick them out.
If your drunk and can’t walk home most campuses have a program where volunteer students or security will walk you home. The host of the house party will gladly call them for you if you ask them too.
#6
Never get in a car with someone who has (or you think might have) been drinking.
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
Yes it is not worth your life or someone else's. And it ant worth going to jail or prison over. Spend the extra money for a cab or get a ride from someone you know has not been drinking.
#7
Bring that boring sober friend along with you. We will make sure you get home alright and don’t get taking advantage of.
Judit Turi 2 years ago
I was single at the time (the ultimate fat-ugly-friendzoned geek girl) and I never take advantage any of these situations.I never left anyone in trouble. In high school I was the ultimate "help me momma" for everybody I was attended the party with . The girls/boys gone wasted in groups , taking selfies, beefing ,gossiping etc, they didn't care about how their SO was. Once one girl almost had alchohol poisoning, vomited her guts out in the toilet and passed out- someone was almost beaten by another though fella who come to party with us or I witnessed, someone spiked the drinks to "make this lousy party better" and shared the cups. I took these poor souls back to safety, to the dormitory,nursing room etc. The spiky person was beaten up by the security and I called police on him.Sometimes they only noticed that their SO's left the party ("They're weak p*ssies, it's not manly to pass out from 2 beer "etc).I feel ashamed by them, but I did my best for the rest who deserved.
According to Dr Lalor, there are some simple strategies people can use to try and prevent drink spiking. They included: Keeping your drink close to you and keeping a close eye on it; avoiding sharing drinks; if someone you don’t know very well offers you a drink, go to the bar with them and watch the bartender pour your drink; if you think your drink tastes weird, pour it out; buy or pour your own drinks – many people have their drinks spiked by someone they know.” Last thing to remember is to always keep an eye on your friends and their drinks.
#8
Introduce yourself to as many girls as possible right off the bat. It may not lead to friendship, or conversation, but if everyone in the room that COULD see the signs you don't notice is aware of you, you're much more likely to be safe.
I had a younger friend tell me she does this wherever she goes, she'll wave hello to every older woman and cashier and "Dad" looking guy at Wal-Mart even, just to make an impression in case something bad happens. When we feel like we have a personal stake in someone's safety (i.e. if they went out of their way to say Hi to you) you're more likely to help out without being asked.
#9
If you're going to drink, stick to one type of drink/alcohol. DO NOT MIX.
Also, drink a water for every 2 drinks you have
Also, before you go to bed that night, take 2 motrin/ibuprofen and drink at least one glass of water if not more.
#10
Take lots of pictures. These help you track your night later, if things get hazy.
Dr Lalor said that if your drink has been spiked, you may not be able to see, smell or taste it. “The drug or extra alcohol may be colorless and odorless and may not affect the taste of your drink.”
You want to also check for early warning signs that show that your drink may have been spiked. The victim of spiking may feel dizzy or faint, feel ill or sleepy, feel intoxicated even if they think they had a small amount of alcohol, have slowed reaction time or impaired coordination, pass out, wake up feeling uncomfortable and confused with memory blanks about the night before.
#11
Create a code with your friends for "i don't feel safe" "i need to leave" and "help me"
Watch your drink and your friend's drinks
If you live somewhere where defensive gear isn't allowed, have a bottle of dry shampoo or spray deodorant (use it like pepper spray)
Share your locations with your friends
Don't go out alone
#12
When I was in college I had a pack of girl friends who would all go to the bars together. We had a system where when we saw a friend with a guy talking to her pretty intensely we'd all swoop over as a team and say "Hey we're gonna move to X bar now". If the friend was uncomfy with the guy's attention she'd say "Aww boo ok Hey sorry guy gotta go" and get swooped off. If she was fine she's just say "Nah, I'ma stay for a bit, I'll catch up". We'd only leave if she came with, otherwise we'd hover to keep an eye on things and SHOCKER the dude would not notice.
#13
Always have a plan b and c for transportation. Sometimes it's hard to catch an Uber/Lyft in some areas at a certain time of night. Stick together. Safety in numbers is true. If you and your friends are looking out for each other, there's less danger. People who are looking to harm others are always looking for the person who's off on their own, away from the "herd." Or they'll try and get you alone.
It's Izzy 🇺🇦 (They/Them) 2 years ago
If you drink, don't drive. Have four plans to get home - write them down. Walk it if it's safe to, catch a lift, have a designated driver, call someone you know, catch the bus, if it's at a pub, there might even be a courtesy bus.
Dr Lalor argues that “You know your body better than anyone, so trust your instincts.” According to her, if you feel like your drink has been spiked, you can do any of the following: “Ask someone you trust to take you to the nearest hospital. In an emergency, call for an ambulance or ask someone to call for you.”
Moreover, if you’re not out with people you trust, talk to one of the venue staff or security. Dr Lalor’s advice is to ask your doctor to test for the presence of drugs. “Urine or blood tests can pick up traces of certain drugs up to 24 hours later, however some drugs leave the body quickly and can’t be detected within this timeframe,” she said.
#14
Make friends that have your best interest at heart not friends that insist on doing stupid things. The ones that look out for you will have your back, just don’t forget to do the same back
#15
There's a nail polish you can get that changes color when dipped into a drink that's been spiked. Not sure what it's called
#16
This is one that I’ve never really seen posted, but I think it’s helpful.
You can get a good sense of a guy’s respect for your boundaries before you’re alone with them. Do they push the subject matter of conversation beyond what you seem to be comfortable with? Do they keep trying to feel you up while dancing after you’ve indicated you don’t want them to? Are they simply too drunk to pick up on social cues? These are red flags and you should seek out your friends and avoid being alone with them.
If someone gets really pushy, you should probably call a ride home.
If you are actively looking for someone to hook up with, find someone who is able to show interest without being pushy. You don’t want to be alone with someone who doesn’t respect boundaries, even if you’re attracted to them. (Hot guys can be extra entitled).
Another step is to report the incident to police and/or the venue where the incident occurred since “this can help venue owners and/or police understand drink spiking trends,” Dr Lalor explained. It’s also important to consider speaking with a trusted friend or health professional about your experience.
#17
Don't let your drink out of your sight. Bring your own if you can. Buddy up, no girl left behind. Eat carbs before you go. I repeat, EAT CARBS. They will help absorb alcohol which you need for the next tip. Do NOT get wasted. Trust me, just don't.
#18
Invest in a reliable backup charger for your phone. Making sure your phone's battery doesn't die can have a surprisingly significant impact on your safety.
Littlebunnyfufu 2 years ago
You can buy small portable battery chargers that you can put in your purse for relatively inexpensively these days. Less than $20. The kicker is keeping them charged so you have them ready to take with you.
#19
Also if you feel unsafe walking somewhere, you can get the app Noonlight. You press on the button the entire time you're walking to your destination and if you let go of it and don't enter your PIN in the allotted time it will notify the authorities of your location and I believe it will also notify your emergency contacts if you set that up in the app.
I honestly didn't use it too much this last year but it was still nice to have, since my dorm was pretty far from the central area of campus and there wasn't a lot of lighting.
And look into if your school has any sort of free/discounted ride service! Mine had a student run service where they would pick you up and drop you off anywhere on/near campus for free from 9pm-2am. They also had a deal with Lyft for off campus housing.
Littlebunnyfufu 2 years ago
Both android and iPhone have an emergency button that you can add call emergency and your emergency contacts. At least in most of the US. Check your country/area to be sure. iPhone - https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT208076 https://support.google.com/android/answer/9319337?hl=en#zippy=%2Cuse-emergency-sos-to-call-for-help-alert-your-contacts-record-videos%2Cshare-your-location-with-your-emergency-contacts
“Sadly, some people might not want to report drink spiking incidents because they are worried others won’t believe them, or they think they will be blamed for what happened, especially if they were already drinking or taking other drugs,” Dr Lalor explained.
According to her, the more we talk about drink spiking, the more we can help reduce stigma surrounding it. “This can encourage other people to come forward, knowing that they will be taken seriously,” she concluded.
#20
If you have an iPhone, (others might have the feature as well, I'm not familiar) it's not a bad idea to "share your location" with a close friend before you go out. Heaven forbid anything happens, it will be much easier to find you, even if you're too drunk or whatever to answer. Along the same lines, a portable charger could be useful
#21
Ask around for the reputation of the place hosting. A lot of times colleges have a specific frat house/houses people may know to avoid. If people don't have good things to say, best not to go there then.
Theresa Miedema 2 years ago
For the men: don't give the sleazy frat houses the time of day. Invest your time in being with decent men who treat ALL people with respect and dignity.
#22
I stay relatively sober if I go out alone. Keep pepper spray, keys, a knife, whatever self defense I need on me. Keep an eye out for someone following me into the bathrooms etc. it has happened. Have fun, talk to the regulars. Try to talk to other women. Listen to some music or karaoke. Try not to scroll on my phone. Make sure someone knows where I am. Have a plan to get home.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Know your limits when it comes to drinking, and switch to soda or water when you start feeling woozy. I have never liked the feeling of not being in control of myself and aware of my surroundings, so have only been really drunk once in my life. It was a horrible and terrifying feeling to lose that control and awareness, not to mention just how miserably sick I was the next morning—-and just about all day too (luckily I was off work). Why people think all that is fun, I do not know. How is having no idea where you are or what you’re doing, especially if you’re surrounded by strangers who are in the same state, so not fits to look out for you, anyone’s idea of fun? How is puking your guts out almost the entire next day any kind of fun? How is risking developing a drinking problem, which could ruin your life, anywhere in the definition of fun? Evidently some people just don’t understand the concept of fun.
#23
If a man has you feeling scared, being very physical, turn around. If he has his arms wrapped around you from behind tightly, smack your head back on his face as hard as you can. That will get you free of his grip. If you stay turned towards him, you don’t have much you can do.
Don’t drink at a party. Drinking really isn’t cool or fun. It can get you so drunk that you aren’t acting yourself at all and it will just be a embarrassing memory. Keep it down, a drink won’t hurt, but try to remember drinking is very strong and can do some damage.
Don’t ever leave your drink. If you have to use a bathroom. Finish the drink first or get a new one when you come back.
What do you think ?
LazyPanda 2 years ago (edited)
We need a new article. What are some decency tips for men out partying?
S Mi 2 years ago
Could not agree more. Teaching women to protect themselves is a bandaid solution. Sometimes it helps and can even save lives. But not addressing the causes means it'll keep happening and band-aids don't always work. And it normalizes that women are expected to protect themselves from men. Which is all kinds of messes up
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LazyPanda 2 years ago (edited)
We need a new article. What are some decency tips for men out partying?
S Mi 2 years ago
Could not agree more. Teaching women to protect themselves is a bandaid solution. Sometimes it helps and can even save lives. But not addressing the causes means it'll keep happening and band-aids don't always work. And it normalizes that women are expected to protect themselves from men. Which is all kinds of messes up
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